I was being set-up (by myself) on the advise of society to deprive the world, myself and others of an excellent friendship in the name of the pain of rejected intimacy. That one needs to retreat into solitude to heal when one has been hurt.
You see Society’s advice by necessity has to work for everyone within it. As such it needs to cover the lowest common denominator. This generally makes its methods cautious and time-consuming. I am not saying that Society’s advice is wrong just that if one is cunning one can usually find a better way to do it. Though I will concede one does run the risk of falling on one’s face. And only time will tell on THAT.
For my own part I was also allowing some pretty low-level patterns to intrude on my life and cause some trouble. These are patterns that I regard as relatively childish and puerile.
They are in no particular order:
• Not accepting no for an answer
• Melodramatic / have to push an issue
• Stubborn
• Must have my own way
• Moping / Sulking
• Holding a grudge / lash out / get vengeance
• Things have to be bad
• Backed into a corner
• Self-destructive
• Obsessed with sex and possession
Earlier in the year I completed the Hoffman Process (I'll post something directly about this soon) and did a lot of valuable work disconnecting from these patterns. That they rose again is testament to the strength of the lessons learned in our childhood and just perhaps I was reverting to ‘type’ after the very successful conclusion of all my life’s plans for the year!
Anyway I was able, through a very conscious decision, to sweep these aside and be the bigger person I’d like to be. This was also assisted of course by the lessons of the year’s travel – that alternate’s to this default reality do exist!
Some of the core loopholes I used were:
1) I live life according to my own rules
2) I make them up as I go along.
3) I will give as much as I can to this world for as long as my heart beats and there is a tooth left in my mouth with which to gnaw on the bones of life in search of marrow.
4) Basking in the afterglow of Burning Man and the Eclipse trip to Mongolia. These heady experiences make it difficult to mope about for very long as they were so inspirational and give one an enhanced appreciation of absolutely EVERYTHING
5) Yoga – hard Yoga, every day. I find the power of sweaty focused exercise an incredible resource for guidance and enlightenment.
6) The negative provides a perfect starting point/mirror from or in which one can see the positive alternative. Anything DEFINITE provides you with a platform to know what you do NOT want and then you can use that as your pushing off point to go somewhere (anywhere) else positive.
7) If your only tool is a hammer you will treat every problem like a nail. If you only have bristling defences then you will treat every interaction like an attack.
Have no need of a defence by not being a target. And if you aren’t a target you’ll not get attacked (so much if it after all is in one’s own head)
This last corresponds to being a victim and the pattern of ‘things have to be bad’. They don’t have to be… so when they are not don’t try to make them.
It worked for me. And I think the key ingredient’s are loophole 1 and 2.
Returning to the concept of scale and this year. Most of what I have done has given me a substantial appreciation for scale. Eclipses hint at the size of the galaxy by making it just that much more obvious to observe things such as the sun and moon. The Hoffman Process showed the wonder of our inner workings and how an unkind work spoken at the wrong moment can cast a longer shadow than a kind word said at the right moment! Mongolia’s landscapes are all about crazy scales. And Burning Man – well it’s an event on a scale in a location that defies belief.
What is also remarkable is the way in which we are so damn tiny and yet all of this practically infinite multiverse can be rendered utterly irrelevant simply by one of our own experiences or emotions.
This piece of writing is not exactly about very much. But that is just the way it is... just some creative writing for its own sake really. As after all I am clearly doing SOMETHING not nothing...
Next up some stuff about Burning Man...
But wait there's more... have a look at this image below…
Now click on it and see the real scale!
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